Identical
by XGredAndForgeForeverX
Summary: RE-UPLOADED (see profile for info) warnings include: anorexia/bulimia/descriptive portrails of both/etc. Am currently Re -Writing, so beware.
1. Chapter 1

_**( Chapter i found on my backup file. )**_

_**Hi i am so so sorry i will paste what i have just posted on my profile **_

_**( Ok i am so so sorry that my stories where deleted. My sister hacked my account and deleted them and the chapters saved on my computer, also making it impossible for me to acess my account.**_

_**I have been trying to re-write everything but as you can guess its a hard thing to do. My sister did this in revenge not understanding that my fanfics are like my little babies ( in a non creepy way od course).**_

_**I am not sure if there is a way to send everyone who has me on alert a PM informing them on this. If you know if there is a way i can do that please PM me. I have re-written chapters ready to load on here but i may also be adding or starting a few new stories in the mean time.**_

_**Thanks)**_

i will have them re-loaded asap

Disclaimer:I do not own harry potter or any of the characters.

George pov:

when people look at us all they see is the pranksters, the Weasly twins but never the individual. Fred doesn't mind the attention, you could say he basks in it. He is the one who comes up with the pranks and the outgoing one out of us, you could say I'm the shy twin and the more careful one. Lying here in bed I know that if I move my head I can see Fred in his bed, only his bright red hair is showing and if I listen closely enough I can hear his deep breathing. Sometimes I think I know more about Fred then I do myself, I hate myself for being jealous of him and the way seems to breath confidence but then I tell myself that I'm being foolish and selfish and shouldn't think such things.

I can hear Fred waking now and I close my eyes and pretend that I have been sleeping. "George mate wake up" I can hear his footsteps as he approaches my bed, I bring my head out over my covers and look over at him, he looks at me with that sleepy smile of his as he brushes his hands through his hair. "I'll meet you down there", I say bringing the covers over and move to get out of bed, "ill see you down there then " Fred says as he lazily walks out the door throwing me a smile that he reserves for me, "I'll grab you some food or else there will be none left for you to have" he says as he walks out the door.

I get out of bed and move toward the bathroom brushing my hair out of my tired eyes, turning on the shower I strip of my bed clothes and step in enjoying the warm sensation on my skin as water sprays down. Drying of I change into an old pair of jeans and a baggy jumper and slowly head my way down stairs, "Ron dear don't talk with your mouth full" and "where are my shoes mum" echo up the stairs and I smile, my family are probably eating and rushing around trying to find lost things, our house is normally like this in the morning but what can you expect with seven children. "I saved you a seat", I turn around and find Fred pointing to a spare seat by the side of him as a piece of bacon hangs from his mouth. "Thanks" mumble making my way over and dropping down and start digging into my pile of eggs and bacon on the plate in front of me. "Slow down there George the food isn't going to disappear and anyway you could stand to lose a few pounds" shouts Percy my older brother from the other side of the table. Dropping my fork I try to digest the food I was eating and look up, "don't listen to him dear, there's enough here for everyone" my mum shouts but I just look down at the plate of food I had been devouring and feel a sense of disgust rush through me. "you ok there George" says Fred, ,looking up I mumble something half intelligently and slowly continue to eat the food. Am I really starting to get pudgy I think to myself as I self consciously look down at myself, have I really been letting myself go. Slanting my head to look at Fred I study the differences between us, am I really bigger than him I wonder as I finish my food and with a light wave of my hand as a goodbye I make my way upstairs and into the bathroom.

Turning round to face the mirror I carefully inspect myself carefully and try to find the offending extra weight. Fiddling around with my jumper I take a look at my stomach, I think I have gotten fatter I think to myself poking my stomach and scowling. Maybe I should just cut down on some of the fatty foods I eat I ponder once again poking at my stomach, I cant allow myself to get any bigger I say to myself determinedly. "George you in there" says Fred from the other side of the door, pulling down my jumper I open the to to face a worried looking Fred. "are you ok mate you left pretty quickly", sure I say turning into our room why I question Fred. "ummm no worries" says Fred scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, " mum was wondering if we wanted to go to Diagon alley with her later. " why not" I say plastering a determined expression on my face for once.

**This Is my first fanfic so try not to be harsh please thanks, I will keep this story updated regularly if there is an interest in it.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters

Chapter 2

It had been about a week after George had decided to lose some weight and he was getting more and more frustrated, it seemed like whatever he did he wasn't losing any weight. He had been trying to cut a few things out without alerting anyone but so far it hadn't done anything to help him lose any weight. Looking down at his stomach he swore if anything he was getting bigger, sighing George stopped pacing his room and wondered about what else he could do. Hearing Someone coming up to the door George looked up in time to catch Ginny come in, "mum says to come downstairs as she wants to go to Diagon alley", she says with a playful smirk as she closes the door behind her. Joining everyone else down stairs he takes his place next to Fred "we need some more products for our new inventions" he says throwing an arm around my shoulder. Mum comes round and we all take some floo powder and in unison shout "Diagon alley".

George pov:

"Careful there George" says Fred wrapping himself around me to stop me falling, "George dear are ok you nearly fell, are you feeling alight" says mum as she comes round. Not trusting my voice yet I grab onto Fred and pull my self up "I'm fine I think the floo powder must have gotten to me or something" I say, "Come on George we need to get those supplies I was talking about for that new prank, Fred says happily but still keeping a hold on me, " mum me and George are going to go to that joke shop, when do you want us back home by" he says. "before dinner should be fine dears I need to get Ginny and Ron some new robes" says mum pulling a reluctant Ginny and Ron behind her.

After a few while Fred and I decided we should start heading back as we had gotten everything we had needed, "well at least we have everything this new prank is going to be awesome" says Fred excitedly. After a few minutes of dodging through the crowds I feel a tug on my arm turning me round and into the face of a worried looking Fred. "George" he says uncertainly " are you sure your ok you've been strange this past week and then with what happened earlier, are you sure your ok mate". I felt horrible lying to him but I didn't see a choice I just smiled and tried to reassure him as well as I could that I was fine and that he didn't have to worry about me, luckily it seemed to appease him and we continued home.

Later that night I was sitting by myself in our bedroom and was feeling disgusted with myself, god your such a cow George, you couldn't stop eating you fat pig and your pathetic. These thoughts whirled around my brain as I hugged myself. I Had recently eaten dinner and I hadn't been able to stop myself from eating loads as the hunger had gotten to me and this is where it had gotten me, god I was pathetic. Pulling myself up I slowly made my way to the bathroom and sat on the floor, would it work I thought. I had heard of people who made themselves sick in order to lose weight. My mind was at war with itself should I try all I could think of was the fact that I wanted this food out of me as my brain conscious continued to throw insults at me. Finally deciding I cast silencing spells around the bathroom and sat down in front of the toilet and breathed a shaky breath before lifting up my middle fingers and shoving them down my throat, why isn't this working I thought as I continued to shove my fingers up and down my throat. Tears rushed down my face as I chocked on the acid in the back of my throat and just when I thought this wasn't going to work and my desperation had reached its highest level I chocked on bile and quickly removed my fingers as the dinner I had just eaten came back up and into the toilet. Shaking in relief I flushed the toilet and washed the bile off my hands and mouth and slowly made my way quietly into the bedroom being careful not to wake Fred up with my interruption I snuggled into my bed for the night.

I decided to make the font in this chapter bigger so it would be easier to read. Thanks for reading and please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

George pov:

The soothing words in my ear did nothing to help the raging sobs that erupted from my chest or the tears that continued to fall. "shhhhhh its OK I'm here for you, what's wrong mate" Fred continued to attempt to sooth me as he rubbed small circles into my back relaxingly.

My strength was waning and I felt my knees collapse from under me and Fred was the only thing keeping me from falling to the ground.

Why cant I stop crying I wonder as Fred gathers me up into his arms and brings me to my bed, "I'm sorry I'm so so sorry", a weak, muffled and distressed voice filled my ears and I realised that that was me, who was apologising again and again into Freds jumper.

For as long as I can remember, Fred has always been the silly, outgoing and more playful twin out of the two of us, you could say he was the tougher one out of us. That doesn't mean I'm weaker than him I'm just not a violent person.

Fred always seems to know when something is wrong with me and he seems to switch on his caring and emotional side that only I have seen. The same could be said for me as Freds always teases me about being emotional even though we act so alike you wouldn't notice unless you really, really knew us which is a very rare thing.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for mate", says Fred helping me onto the bed and laying down with me on the bed. We first started doing this when we were younger, being so close to each other has always been a comfort for both of us.

It took around twenty minutes for me to get my emotions under control, as well as my crying and breathing, but with Fred there the whole time soothing and comforting me I slowly regained control again.

Your a burden George, your a fat burden who doesn't deserve love, my hazed and distressed mind was once again riddled with these thoughts as I lay in Freds arms. My mind continued to attack me with insults but I felt numb to them and it felt like I had cried out all of my emotions and all that was left was a shell of a person.

Looking up I see Freds face that's filled with worry and tears that have leaked from his eyes, that were filled with concern and worry. I made him cry. This thought fills me with emotion I thought had left me and I was filled with guilt. I made to move of from the bed but a tug from Fred pulls me back down. "you cant breakdown and try and leave without telling me anything George" says Fred firmly but gentle at the same time.

"It was nothing" I say, once again trying to leave but Freds grip is too strong and all of my energy had had already left me. I just wanted to get away but he was making it impossible, for me and he knew that I didn't have the energy to fight him off.

"It wasn't nothing mate, people don't cry and breakdown for no reason", his voice sounds concerned. "something has been going on with you for a while know, you know you can trust me George so why don't you". God he's making the guilt worse, why cant he just leave me alone with my horrible fat self.

"please just go" I say hating how weak and needy my voice Possessing strength I thought I didn't have I ripped myself out of his grip and rushed to the door. Unfortunately I was too slow and I felt Fred launch himself in my direction and a grab me knocking me hardly to the floor. I felt the wind get knocked out of me as my arms were pulled up and I could feel Fred straddling me making it impossible for me to move or get away. I think Fred was as shocked at what he had done as me.

"I didn't mean, I just didn't want you to, I", words poured out of his mouth as realisation was dawning on him. He just sat there trying to explain himself but all I could feel was the weight on me and the pain in my arms and body from the shock plus the hard grip Fred had on me. I could feel tears leaking out of my eyes and I couldn't stop a pained whimper from escaping my mouth.

Realisation seemed to dawn on him and he shot up in horror and mumbled an apology before fleeing the room. I could feel the bruising on my wrists and pained shoots were shooting up my back. I unconsciously dragged myself into the bathroom where I collapsed in a sobbing heap on the floor clutching my sore wrists.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

George pov:

"George _George_, you have to get up mate" A soft voice says and I feel myself tiredly wake up from my exhausted sleep. My head feels light and stuffy as I remember the what had happened the previous evening.

" Mmmm what s going on" I say as I try to untangle myself from my blanket.

"Mum told me to make sure you were awake, sorry mate" a sleepy looking Fred replies, brushing his hand through his hair he says, "She wants to make sure we all have what we need for Hogwarts and ready for next week"

"Tell mum I'll be down soon" I say trying to avoid his concerned expression, he must have been thinking about last night.

"Ummm about what happened, I'm sorry I didn't meant, you know" he says nervously scratching at the back of his head yet pointing a concerned glance in my direction.

"Don't worry about it Fred, why don't I Ummm meet you downstairs after I get ready" I say plastering on what I hope was a convincing expression.

"OK then" he says, sounding unconvinced yet not willing to get into an argument over it. "Ill save you a seat" he tells me as he walks out of the room throwing another concerned glance over in my direction before leaving.

As I slowly get out of bed all the blood rushes to my head and I feel faint. Steadying myself I head toward the bathroom grabbing some clothes on the way. When taking my top of I absent-mindedly clutch my wrist and let out a startled whimper when I feel a sharp pain. Looking down I identify finger like bruises staining my wrists, creating a blue and black pattern on them. Shocked I study them, surely Fred didn't do that much damage when he held me down, I think to myself. I strip off and get into the shower in a daze, sub consciously going through the movements but not really concentrating on what I was doing. When washed and dressed I ounce again inspected the marks on my wrists and thought about how to hide them, really the only reason Fred hadn't seen them earlier was because I had been in bed. Scouring our room searching for something to use I came across a pair of my old, black fingerless Quidditch gloves. These should do, then putting them on I head down stairs.

"Good your here dear, come along and sit down" says mum looking up from were she had been talking to bill about something. Spotting Fred I head over. My eyes horror filled as I see the plate of food someone had left for me. I cant eat that oh god what do I do, all the worrying about my wrists had meant I had forgotten about getting out of breakfast or preparing some kind of excuse. Were they really expecting me to eat all of that, were they trying to kill me or something.

"Morning" says dad as I pass him on my way over to my seat, but I could be deaf for all I knew as all I could think about was the food on that plate and that was it. Rubbing my hand together nervously and sit down next to Fred, my staring contest with the food was interrupted by Fred pointing at the gloves I was wearing and realised everyone was looking at me all looking at me. Crap I think as I stop rubbing my hands together and try to come up with an explanation as to why I am wearing gloves at breakfast.

"Its cold" I say and wince at how stupid I sound but luckily it seems to do the trick and slowly people go back to eating and talking, except Fred who keeps looking at me strangely.

Leaning over to me Fred whispers " What's the real reason George" and I cant help but get annoyed at him and the patronising tone in his voice and shoot him an annoyed look , hoping he would just drop it. Unfortunately this makes him look more determined but he drops it and goes back to eating. Breathing an inwards sigh of relief I look back to the food wondering what I was going to do.

Don't even think about eating any of that George, weren't you the one complaining about not losing any weight. Do you really have so little self control that you have to eat like some pig. I know that I do I wanted to tell myself.

Maybe if I just eat a little of the bread I can make it look I've eaten, I ponder to myself. Deciding to do this I try to ignore the disgust I get at the thought of eating while at the same time fighting against the hunger pains that filled my stomach, raging at the prospect of food. Slowly eating the small piece of bread in my hand I try my best to look natural and not bring any unwanted attention to myself. It works and by the time I have spent eating that piece of bread, breakfast has finished and plates are clumped together and carried away. I breath a sigh of relief, slowly extracting my self from the chair and I head back upstairs dodging carefully around my many siblings.

After a few minuets I hear the heavy footsteps that I know belong to Fred outside of the door. I try to avoid his attention and continue checking I had all the book and equipment I would need to Hogwarts ready. "George I know you were lying to mum earlier" he says in a serious voice. Dammit I think to myself of course Fred would be the one to guess I was lying, we have always been good at felling and guessing the others emotions through our strong bind.

" s nothing" I say to him trying to avoid the topic and inwardly praying he would leave it alone.

"Mate", crap when did he get so close, "what's going on and please stop lying to me," he says with a hint of desperation in his voice.

I couldn't let him see the marks he had made yesterday, it would kill him. "look it doesn't matter OK, just leave it alone. we need to make sure were ready for Howarts", I say trying to change the conversation.

"No", he says and grabbing my arm I let out a pained moan as he touches my bruised wrist, when removing one of the gloves. I hear a shocked gasp come from his as he sees the bruised pattern on them left by him.

"I did this to you" he says shocked recognising his finger marks that were bruised into my skin.

"It doesn't matter" I say and grabbing my hand back, ignoring the sharp pain I receive from this action and leave Fred standing there in shock.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

George pov:

After staring at each other for a few seconds, I let my gaze drop to the floor. "What do you mean it doesn't matter",Fred says, reaching slowly towards the wrist I had just snatched out of his hands. Stepping back in an attempt to stop him from seeing the marks, but knowing I didn't have the energy left in me.

"It doesn't matter," I say "I know you didn't mean to" while watching him gently take my wrist and shoot me a heartbreaking apologetic look when I hiss suddenly due to the pain.

"I'm so sorry George I... I just wanted to stop you from leaving and, I... I never meant to hurt you. I can see the tears escaping from his eyes as he says this and wish I could stop them.

"Don't worry about it" I say stepping towards him, "I know you would never try to hurt me mate, it was just an accident okay" trying to sound reassuring. He was still looking at my wrist that lay limp in his gentle hold and looking horrified by the patterns his fingers had bruised into it.

"Fred, George mum says she wants us down stairs", startled by the voice of our brother Ron we break apart.

"We has better go down" I say tugging my shirt sleeve back down and grabbing the gloves back from Fred. "forget it mate you have nothing to sorry for" I say as I tug the gloves back on and look at Fred.

"I... fine just know that I'm sorry" says Fred his eyes still shining with shame for the bruises.

"I know" lets go down before mum has a hissy fit, both of us thinking the same thing _ mum is scary_ and we both gulp remembering the many many times we had been had been on the receiving end of her temper.

Rolling our eyes at the sight of Percy still shinning his prefect badge with a pompous expression on his face me and Fred look at each other knowingly.

"I swear if that thing gets any shinier we'll get blinded" says Fred with amusement obviously trying to lighten the mood between us.

"ya and I swear if his head gets any bigger..."

"Don't say another word, you two should be proud of your brother" says mum giving us an exasperated look, " being a prefect is a huge accomplishment".

Returning the look we both head to where Ron and Ginny are arguing, knowing them its probably got something to do with Harry. Those two always seem to be at each others throats.

"Ron and Ginny stop squabbling with each other, your farther has gone to get Harry from the Dursleys so we need to make sure we have everything ready for when he comes" says mum. "He already has the things he need for Hogwarts but I'm sure he'll needing a good feeding up, lord knows he's far to skinny as it is and those Dursleys don't help".

Feeling a stab of jealously and irritation at the remark about how 'skinny' Harry is and immediately feeling a horrible wave of guilt wash over me. Did this prove that he was a bad person, but how he wished he was thin. Yet there was still a seed of jealousy planted in the back of my mind that seemed to feed my desire to lose weight.

**Okay thanks for reading and sorry that it took awhile to put up and I promise that I will be ****making sure to update quicker. Please ignore the mistakes concerning grammar and spelling. I will be reposting this chapter once my beta has gone through this. Also the next chapter will be taking place in Hogwarts, just a little spoiler for you.**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

George pov:

Having secretly snuck out of the dorm the previous evening after the banquet in the Great Hall while everyone was asleep, giving into the urge to purge all of the food I had eaten out. Yet I still felt terrible and had skipped breakfast and lunch ignoring the hunger pains that seemed to creep up at me as time passed. Luckily I only had one lesson left today and that was Defence against the dark arts with the new professor who gave that speech yesterday.

"Arggh I swear the first day back is always the most boring" says Fred me, him, Lee our best friend made our way towards the Defence against the arts classroom.

"You say that about everyday mate" says Lee laughing at Freds antics, Fred sends him a glare which ends up looking like a childish pout.

"So what do you think of the new professor" I say trying to change the topic.

"Ha I bet her lesson is going to be a joke, I mean have you seen her" says Fred

" Right you are there mate I nearly fell asleep when she gave that speech yesterday" both me and Fred groaned simultaneously agreeing with Lee. Taking our usual seats as the class slowly poured in we waited for the new professor to arrive.

"Good morning everyone" say professor Umbridge striding into the classroom in the same pink skirt suit she had worn yesterday and this time she had a matching pink cotton hat that sat on her tightly curled hair. A few people muttered good morning back half heartedly. "Tut Tut, were are your manner children I should like you to reply good morning professor Umbridge". Me and Fred looked at each other both wondering if the new professor was barmy. "Okay then, good morning class" says professor umbridge motioning the class to reply.

"Good morning professor Umbridge" the class replied as a whole.

"Very nice" says the professor in a sweet, sickly tone of voice, "now wands away and quills out please" she says causing the class to groan.

Me and Fred once again give each other knowing looks, both knowing that this was going to turn into a horribly boring lesson. Professor Umbridge re positioned herself at the front of the class and pulled out a book that said

_**Defence against the dark arts**_

_**the basic principles**_

" you will each find a copy of this book in your desks which we will be using this lesson. Know I that recently your lesson have been rather disrupted, now we will be learning and abiding by the proper ministry approved lesson plans for your year to help you try and get up to OWL level standard and correct mistakes you may have been taught by unprofessional teachers so far." "You will be pleased to know that these can be easily rectified. "We will be following a theory- centred, ministry approved course this year, now I want you to copy down the first chapter into your books."

I had just finished copying

_**Impedimenta- puts up an impediment that slows down something or someone**_

_**that is coming towards you.**_

When there was a large explosion and looking up I could see that Professor Umbridge was standing at the front spluttering while shouting. The cause of this I assumed was that fact that someone had managed to cover the professor head to toe in some sort of pink glue and pined a sign to her that read ' worlds most stupid professor'. which had the whole class laughing there heads of except for me, Fred and Lee who were looking at each other confused. Yes me and Fred were known as the pranksters of Hogwarts but this wasn't one of our pranks and to be honest wasn't entirely funny either as it was kinda cliché.

"Silence, I say silence"professor Umbridge bellowed casting a spell to undo the prank, " who did this, tell me at once" she says and I couldn't help to notice that her face had turned a strange shade of red.

"I saw who did it professor" said a slytherin who was smirking at the front of class surrounded by fellow slytherins who were also smirking and I know that this couldn't be good. From experience I know that 'smirking' and 'slytherins' was a dangerous combination. "It was George weasley, I saw him cast it".

"No it wasn't" cried both me and Fred and Lee joined in be adding " I bet you did you slytherin scum".

"Silence, Mr weasley detention tonight" turning around I stare in disbelief.

"But I didn't do it, there only saying it to get me in trouble" I cry in outrage.

Mr weasley detention and I will hear no more from you now silence all of you" directing the last part to my fellow Gryffindor classmates who were outraged that she was taking the Slytherins word over ours. At that moment the bell went and I looked over and could see the Slytherins joined together laughing at my expense and felt a wave of rage come over me but pushed it down and stood up and watched at the Professor who was know free of the pink glue and sign strut out of the classroom.

"That bitch" says Fred who was still mad as we joined the others in leaving the classroom, "stupid, slimy slytherins".

"Bad luck mate, I bet it was that slytherin who pranked professor Umbridge" says Lee in a sympathetic voice.

"Don't worry guys its not like I've never had a detention before" I say trying to lighten the situation, luckily it works but I could tell that Fred was still upset.

"Come in Mr weasley you will be doing lines" says professor Umbridge in a horribly sweet voice when it was time for my detention. Sitting down once again ignoring the hunger pains that raged in my stomach still. Sitting down and facing the paper and pick up the quill, " you are to write ' I will not pull pranks' until I am satisfied you have learned your lesson. Looking down and deciding to just get this over with I gasp in surprise when I feel a sharp burning pain in my hand, I look up to professor Umbridge and she dives me a cruel smirk. " you could say that this is a special quill. Now hurry up we don't have all do do we dear". Still in shock I follow her instruction and continue writing ' I will not pull pranks' while trying to stifle the cry of pain as I watch the words being etched into my had over and over again.

_I will no pull pranks _

drip

_I will not pull pranks _

drip

_I will not pull pranks_

and so on watching the blood slowly drip down my hand and on the quill. After writing for what seemed like months "I will see you same time tomorrow Mr weasley" echo in my ears and clutching my throbbing hand I unconsciously rise and leave, heading back toward the Gryffindor dorm all thoughts forgotten and all my focus was on the pain my hand was in.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

George pov:

The next day seemed to be going much to fast and my detention with Professor Umbrudge was coming close and closer and I found myself filling with dread. I wanted to tell someone and stop what was happening but I couldn't find the strength to do so, I just hid my hand were the words _I will not pull pranks _was etched into it. When Fred had asked what detection was I just said lines, so in theory I wasn't lying I just wasn't telling the whole truth. Fortunately I didn't have defence against the dark arts today, so except potions with Professor Snape the lessons hadn't been so bad.

I was sitting at lunch and listening to Fred, Lee joined by Harry and Ron complaining about how unfair Professor Snape is and surprisingly Hermione was complaining about his apparent 'lack of proper teaching' it was obvious that they had also had a bad potions lesson as well.

"Grrrrr I hate that slimy git" says Ron while devouring a piece of chicken, Which was making me feel queasy watching. I had to ignore my own hunger and concentrate on waiting the small lunch I was having as I had been feeling light headed but I put that towards yesterdays detention.

"Ron how many times have I told you not to talk when your eating" Hermione says in an irritated voice but there was a hint of fondness. It seemed to be apparent to everyone but the two people themselves, that Ron and Hermione both liked the other. We were just waiting for them to get together.

"Hey does anyone have notes on Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration" says an out of breath Ginny as she reaches our table.

"Sure thing" I says Fred pulling out a book from his back that says :

_**Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration is a law of wizarding physics. There are five Principal Exceptions to Gamp's Law; some are food, **__**love**__** and information. Food may be multiplied once a real food object is actually in hand, but cannot be created from nothing.**__**[1] Love and information cannot be created. Love can only be imitated through a Love Potion or the Imperius Curse, in which case it resembles an obsessive infatuation. **_

On the front in bold letters. I cant help but chuckle as everyone gives him an odd look, "Hey I study" he says acting insulted but there was amusement in his eyes.

"Well ya but just didn't expect you to carry around a book on transfigurations" says Ron defensively. At the tone in his voice I cant help but burst out laughing, Fred looks at me in amusement and joins in, everyone else joins in a minute later. It was times like this were I could forget about everything and just be happy, yet I knew that it wouldn't last forever.

"Ummm Hermione", I say trying to get her attention after everyone had calmed down.

"Yes", she says looking up from were she was looking at the Transfigurations book with Ginny.

"Ummm I was just wondering if you had heard of a quill that uses a persons blood." I say feeling stupider and was reprimanding myself in my head. _Cause asking that isn't suspicious you idiot _my councious tells me and I look sheepish at the looks everyone is know giving me.

"Umm yes I think I remember reading something about a blood quill it writes with the blood of the person using it. What the user writes will be imprinted onto the back of their hand, and an amount of blood will be magically siphoned and be used as ink on the parchment. Continuous use of it will eventually scar the back of the hand. I read it in _**A history of banned Ministry objects, **_why" she says curiously.

" No particular reason I think I heard someone mention something about it and I was curious" I say trying to sound convincing still telling myself off. I was feeling dizzy now and my hunger had came back raging, enticed my the small amount of food I had eaten and wanting more.

"Errr George, what's going on mate" says Fred quietly to me with a weird expression on his face.

"Oh nothing lets just forget I asked the question okay, so what do we have next", I say changing the topic.

Heading to detention latter that evening I was thinking about what Hermione had told me about the quill professor Umbridge was having me use, subconsciously looking down at the words etched in the back of my hand.

"Come on in Mr Weasley I wont have any tardiness" says Professor Umbridge when she spots me at the door,Waling in I take a look at the paper and sit down nervously in my seat. "Same as yesterday Mr weasley until I'm satisfied your learning your lesson" she says with a cruel smirk.

_I will not pull pranks _

Drip

_I will not pull pranks _

Drip

_I will not pull pranks _

Drip

_I will not pull pranks_

The pain was agony as the words were scarred over and over on the back of my hand and couldn't help but think that maybe I deserve this for being so fat and that maybe this was karma punishing me for being such a disappointment. I don't know how long I was there for but it was dark by the time I headed towards the Gryffindor dorms, each step felt like a heavy exercise and my I couldn't stop my hand from shaking.

"George that you" I voice echoed from the darkness and I could hear Fred heading in my direction. "George" his eyes went wide when he saw me and he ran over to me.

"What happened are you ok, god you look so pale mate", then he spots my shaking hand and I hear a gasp of horror when he lifts the robe from over my hand and sees the words _I will not pull pranks_ scarred bloody and red on the back of my hand. "What the fuck"


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.,Note again that this story is AU. I have used the lyrics from 'Breath me' by Sia I do not own them or claim to have written them. I will re update this chapter when my beta has gone through this so beware of mistakes sorry.

George pov:

"George"

"How is he"

"I think he's coming to"

I could hear these voices coming from above me, _what happened _ I think to myself _I had detention and then I saw Fred, shit he saw my hand. _Blinking and cautiously opening my eyes, flinching at the brightness I wait for my vision to come into focus.

"George" I hear Fred speaking noticing the strange tone in his voice that I cant seem to identify.

"Fred" I say in a blurred voice focussing in his face that is now hovering above me, Watching me with concern. "What happened" I say looking around noticing Ron, Harry and Lee on my other side.

"Ron get Madam Pomfry" I hear Harry say "George is awake".

_Urghh_ I think as I push myself into a sitting position ignoring the pounding ache in my head. Feeling someone gently help me to sit I Look and see that its Fred, a weird look now plastered on his face.

"Mr Weasley, I need you to drink this potion for me" says Madam Pomfry walking to stand next to me and with a potion in her hand. Knowing from experience not to mess with her I drink it down grimacing at the taste and hand the bottle back to her. "Good now I have informed Professor Dumbledore of the use of the blood quill professor Umbridge used on you and..."

"Ya hasn't done anything has it, the old toad is still here and all" I hear Ron yell in irittation and anger. Madam Pomfry turns to Ron in obvious annoyance at being interrupted by him.

"Mr weasley please keep your voice down this is a hospital wing and professor Dumbledore is doing what he can" says madam Pomfry in a warning voice but shoots me a look of pity. Fred snorts irritation and clutches my hand in a comforting manner and Lee looking at madam Pomfry in anger that's probably directed towards Professor Umbridge.

Looking down I study the words scarred into my hand and look up " what time is it" I ask still trying to put my brain back together.

"Oh its evening and you've been asleep since your brother brought you in yesterday" gathering her equipment together she turns to me again "you can go back to your dorm if you like but if anything happens or you start feeling sick come straight back to me ok. I'm afraid I cant do more but be assured professor Dumbledore is following this and if Professor Umbridge gives you a detention in the time being report to Professor Dumbledore or your head of house." after finishing telling me this she leaves.

"George we need to talk" says Fred looking at me seriously and with quick awkward goodbyes Ron, Harry and Lee tell us to meet up with them later in the common room. Awkwardly shifting in the hospital bed I look up to meet Fred face wondering what he wants to talk about and I cant help but be worried.

"Why didn't you tell me, it seems like all you do is keep me from things lately" he says his voice sad but voice determined. "mate you look sick and everyone has noticed how you've lost weight, why didn't you tell me what Umbridge did to you." his voice is becoming desperate and I cringe under his gaze.

_I haven't lost weight, I have been getting bigger not smaller. _I think and try to come up with an answer as to why I didn't tell him about the blood quill.

My comes up blank and I cant think of anything to say, I just say I haven't lost weight and I don't look sick put my head down so my hair covers my face.

"Don't lie George, why don't you trust me" he sounds like he's having trouble not crying as he says this and I feel guilt rush up to me and I cant help but hate myself even more.

_Help, I have done it again  
>I have been here many times before<br>Hurt myself again today  
>And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame<em>

_Be my friend  
>Hold me, wrap me up<br>Unfold me  
>I am small<br>I'm needy  
>Warm me up<br>And breathe me_

_Ouch I have lost myself again  
>Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,<br>Yeah I think that I might break  
>I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe<em>

_Be my friend  
>Hold me, wrap me up<br>Unfold me  
>I am small<br>I'm needy  
>Warm me up<br>And breathe me_

_Be my friend  
>Hold me, wrap me up<br>Unfold me  
>I am small<br>I'm needy  
>Warm me up<br>And breathe me_

The words echoed in the back of my mind and the I had to stop myself from chuckling at the irony. The song was by one of my favourite artists and I don't know why but I always felt emotional when I hear it and the words seemed to say how I feel at the moment.

"I'm sorry Fred I don't know what to say"tears start to run as I say this.

"I've been ignoring how ill you've been looking and taking your excuses as I hoped you would come and tell me what was going on and then I find out Umbridge has been torturing" Fred sounds desperate and I can tell he is crying now releasing my hand he wraps his arms around me.

"I heard you throwing up" hearing Fred say this I freeze in his arms " was it on purpose", I can tell he wants this to all be a mistake and his crying gets harder as he says asks this.

"I... please don't hate me" my voice starts trembling when I say this and I clutch onto Fred.

"I could never hate you George never" Fred wraps his arms around me tighter burying his face in my shoulder mumbling "never" over and over again.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

George pov:

After around five minuets Fred is still trembling against my shoulder muttering "never" over and over again. I bring my arms up and embrace him softly and run my hand through his hair softly whipping away stray tears that fall.

"Why" that one word from Fred makes me freeze again, _what do I do _I think to myself.

Still crying softly I can feel him join me on the hospital bed "I'm sorry".

I jump up when I hear him say this and turning round to face him I grab his shoulders while trying to process what he said.

"No no no you didn't do anything, you have nothing to be sorry for this is all my fault. Don't you see, I know I'm fat but I can lose weight and be thin as well and I'm so so sorry for making you sad, god I love you and I promise to make you love me again I know how disgusting I am at the moment but I can change" all these words pour out of me not noticing the look of horror growing on Freds face as I continue.

"George" I stop as Fred gently removes my hands from his shoulders and wraps his arms around me once again. "I love you George and I promise I'm going to fix things" I just look at him confused.

"Fix what" I ask confused _Professor Dumbldore is going to fix what happened with professor Umbridge madam Pomfry said so._

"George, god you really don't get it do you" says Fred and his crying gets heavier and he looks at me with a desperate expression. "George your not well and you need to start eating more.."

"What" I shout

"No no no no" I start mumbling _what is he talking about I'm fine I don't want to get fatter_ "No, what are you talking about are you trying to make me fatter that I already am. Why would you want to do that to me" and I cant help but start crying again and pulling my knees up I rest my head on then and start sobbing uncontrollably.

_No no no I wont eat I have to lose weight. I know Fred probably hates me but why would he want to do that. I cant I have to lose weight urghh I hate this._

"Shhh" I hear Fred say as he gathers me in his arms again while trying to comfort me. "

I hear Madam Pomfry come back and I can hear her say something to Fred but I cant hear over my crying.

"Mr wealsey you are malnourished" says Madam Pomfry softly as If she was talking to a young child but I just ignore her. "I'm going to leave some nourishment potions with your brother for you. _Does she know I am not eating enough on purpose_. " I know you are under a lot of stress with what has happened with Umbridge and I assure you it is being looked into but you need to remember to look after yourself. You are free to go now", and with that she leaves again.

"You didn't tell her" I ask Fred in astonishment

"No I .. no I didn't but if you lose any more weight I will"he says with determination as he continues holding me while ribbing small circles in my back in a comforting gesture. "Please George, I don't want to force you to take the potions but I will if I have to. I cant stand seeing what your doing to yourself". Standing up he gathers the potions"why don't we go back to the dorm as its getting late" He says softly.

_It's like you're a drug  
>It's like you're a demon I can't face down<br>It's like I'm stuck  
>It's like I'm running from you all the time<br>And I know I let you have all the power  
>It's like the only company I seek is misery all around<br>It's like you're a leech  
>Sucking the life from me<br>It's like I can't breathe  
>Without you inside of me<br>And I know I let you have all the power  
>And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time<em>

_t's like I can't breathe  
>It's like I can't see anything<br>Nothing but you  
>I'm addicted to you<br>It's like I can't think  
>Without you interrupting me<br>In my thoughts  
>In my dreams<br>You've taken over me  
>It's like I'm not me<br>It's like I'm not me_

_It's like I'm lost  
>It's like I'm giving up slowly<br>It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me  
>Leave me alone<br>And I know these voices in my head  
>Are mine alone<br>And I know I'll never change my ways  
>If I don't give you up now<em>

_It's like I can't breathe  
>It's like I can't see anything<br>Nothing but you  
>I'm addicted to you<br>It's like I can't think  
>Without you interrupting me<br>In my thoughts  
>In my dreams<br>You've taken over me  
>It's like I'm not me<br>It's like I'm not me_

_I'm hooked on you  
>I need a fix<br>I can't take it  
>Just one more hit<br>I promise I can deal with it  
>I'll handle it, quit it<br>Just one more time  
>Then that's it<br>Just a little bit more to get me through this  
>I'm hooked on you<br>I need a fix  
>I can't take it<br>Just one more hit  
>I promise I can deal with it<br>I'll handle it, quit it  
>Just one more time<br>Then that's it  
>Just a little bit more to get me through this<em>

_It's like I can't breathe  
>It's like I can't see anything<br>Nothing but you  
>I'm addicted to you<br>It's like I can't think  
>Without you interrupting me<br>In my thoughts  
>In my dreams<br>You've taken over me_

I know I cant do it, I need to lose weight and I have to be thin.

"George are you OK" says Fred worriedly when we reach our dorm.

"Ummm ya I was just distracted" I reply stiffly _what am I going to do_ I think. I knew my desire to lose weight was overpowering me then and I felt like a puppet, saying and doing the right things to get away with it.

"I'm sorry" I silently whisper to Fred, "I don't think you can help me any more Fred, I've lost and I don't know what to do any more."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. When my beta has gone through this I will re-post. Please ignore any mistakes and the new edited chapter will be on soon when she has a chance to go through this. **

George Pov:

Having stared at the same spot in the ceiling for what seemed like hours after coming back to the dorm and going to bed, all I could focus on was the nourishment I was meant to start having. Looking to my left I can see Freds messy hair sprawled on his pillow and his face which was obscured from view due to his duvet.

There had to be something I could do, _there was no way I was having one of those potions_. Thinking back through spells and charms I knew I tried to find one that would hide the fact I haven't had one or make it seem like I had. _Arghhh I hate this _slowly pushing my duvet of me and checking no one was awake I slowly creep to the creep out of bed and head to the common room to search through the books that are kept there for studying.

_**-Unfogging the Future by Cassandria Vablatsky **_

_**- Intermediate Transfiguration by Emeric Switch **_

_**- The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Three by Miranda Goshawk **_

_**- The Monster Book of Monsters**_

_**- The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Four by Miranda Goshawk**_

_**- The Dream Oracle**_

_**- Standard Book of Spells Grade 5**_

_**- Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard**_

_**- Gadding with Ghouls by Gilderoy Lockhart **_

_**- Holidays with Hags by Gilderoy Lockhart **_

_**- Travels with Trolls by Gilderoy Lockhart **_

_**- Voyages with Vampires by Gilderoy Lockhart **_

_**- Wandering with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockhart **_

_**- Year with the Yeti by Gilderoy Lockhart **_

_**- Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling **_

_**- A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch**_

_**- One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore**_

_**- Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger**_

_**- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander**_

_**- The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin T**_

_**- Advanced Potion-Making**_

_**- Advanced Rune Translation**_

_**- Confronting the Faceless **_

_**- Flesh Eating Tress of the World **_

_**- Quintessence: A Quest **_

_**- Standard Book of Spells: Grade Six **_

I sit down and start searching through them all to find something that would help. After ages I look up thinking a_rghhh this isn't getting me any where_ but determined I go back to desperately skimming through them.

Looking up I notice streams of light coming through and looking to the clock notice that I had been going through books for two and a half hours already. Stressed at not finding anything I get up rubbing by tired achy eyes and head back to the dorm slipping into bed, lying down to act like I had been there the whole time.

"George" Fred calls over and I can hear the rustling of sheets while he detaches himself from his bed. I can hear his footsteps as he slowly steps over to my bed and softly shakes my shoulder to wake me up. _What am I going to do, the potion will make me fat. I don't want to be fat oh god what should I do. Maybe he wont remember, arghh don't be stupid George of course he will. S_tarting to panic I can feel myself start to tremble.

"George" he says again and this time I can hear the concern thick in his voice as he speaks.

Deciding to get out of bet I push my duvet of me "I'm up" I say and stumble out of bed trying to control the panic rising in me. _I cant do this. I... why should I, Freds not in charge of me. He cant tell me what to do. _I think while I get out of bed but knew there was nothing I could do.

Moving to stand in front of me I inspect the bottle in his hands glaring at it while he starts talking "George mate here's your morning nourishment potion, you have to have one in the morning, one at lunch and them one in the evening madam Pomfry said.

"Yeah I'll have it while your getting ready mate" I say turning round to him hoping he wont detect the lie.

"Why don't you have it know so its over and done with then we can go down and have breakfast" as he says, at this my heart starts pounding harder at the thought of having to eat breakfast, my instincts were telling me to run.

Having sensed this Fred grabs my arm firmly " George I don't want to force you" he says and I can hear the desperation in his voice but all I could focus is on getting away but knowing I wouldn't be able to with Fred holding on to me.

"Look what if I have more at breakfast and just skip the potion" I ask, noting the pleading tone in my voice but unable to do anything about it.

Before I can say anything else Fred grabs me, pushing me onto the bed straddling me while he sits on my arms. Shocked I just stare at him trying to push down the panic that seems erupts in me and tears of frustration threaten to fall as I try and move but finding I cant.

"Fred don't, let me up" I beg as tears start to fall.

"George just relax" he pleads while he opens the potion bottle. "I don't want to do this but I wont let you keep killing yourself like this"

I keep trying to fight him of as he leans down and gently but firmly grabs my face, forcing my mouth open as he pushes the potion bottle in and lets the liquid pour down my throat.

While swallowing the potion forced down my throat I start sobbing and shaking, feeling a wave of self hatred come over me at the thought of all the weight this will make me put on.

"Shhh its over, I'm so sorry Shhh" Fred repeats as he lets me up still holding on to me and embraces me in a hug, rubbing small circles in my back in a soothing motion. After a few minuets of this getting my breathing back under control I detach myself from Fred.

"We have to get ready" I say pushing my hair out of my eyes while loose tears continue to fall.

"Fine but I want you to swear on your magic that you wont go and be sick as soon as I leave" he says.

Doing so I wait till he has gone then grab all the potion bottles and head towards the bathroom _I swore I wouldn't be sick, but that doesn't mean I cant get rid of all the potions _I think as I reach the bathroom and opening each on up pour them down the sink chuckling to myself.

**(AN: Okay so George is having mood swings awww poor him lol, hope you enjoyed the chapter) **


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. This chapter will be re-posted when my beta has gone through it. I might re-write it as well but I don't know yet. Enjoy the chapter

George pov:

Having dumped all of the potions down the sink I collect the bottles and chuck them in the trash, feeling immensely happy with myself. After getting dressed, I head to the hall I thinking of what I should do now _what I used Obliviate on Fred, it would be risky but I could make it so he doesn't remember the potions or hearing me throw up _I start feeling happier at the thought. _I can do this I will just have to get him alone and all of this will be over. _Why didn't I think of this earlier I ponder while making plans on when and how to do it.

"Morning George" I hear Lee, Fred, Ginny, Ron and Harry shout above the noise as I reach the Gryffindor table, chatter echoed around the hall.

"Morning everyone" I say cheerfully, Ignoring the weird looks from Fred.

"So what do we have first" I ask, sitting down next to Fred and opposite Lee.

"D.A.D.A" says Lee nervously "I still cant believe what that toad did to you".

"No worries, so what do you guys have" I ask the others smiling at them.

Talking continued on from this and before I knew it me Fred and Lee were heading to our first lesson. I seemed to be hyped on adrenalin as I was practically skipping while thinking of how I wouldn't have to have those potions any more or Fred studying everything I ate.

Professor Umbridge was looking tired as we entered the classroom I was pleased to note, still wearing that horrible Pink suit with matching pink hat.

"Good morning everyone" she says in that sickly sweet voice of hers.

"Good morning Professor Umbridge" we all reply unenthusiastic.

"Today we will be copying chapter 2 of _**'Defence against the dark arts,**_

_**The**_ _**basic principles' **_into your books" she says talking how you would to a young child.

D.A.D.A was followed by charms and then potions, feeling bored from the lessons I was still happy as we headed to lunch. I was going to take my chance when Fred and I headed back to the dorm for another potion I was supposed to have at lunch, I had to make sure we would be alone though.

"Lee, me and Fred will meet you there we have some business to take care of first" I say Fred thinking I meant having my potion backed me up, splitting up from Lee me and Fred headed to the dorm.

"George what's going on with you today you've been acting strange ever since breakfast" Fred asks and I cant help but flinch at the concern in his voice and start feeling guilty about what I was about to do.

Spotting his wand in his back pocket I plan my next move and as soon as we reach the dorm I grab it and push him down, aiming my want at him.

"What the.. George what are you doing, give me back my wand" Fred says but I just tell him to not move.

"Don't move just stay there OK, I'm so sorry but this will make everything right again" I say as tears start falling at the thought of hurting Fred.

"George, Shhh calm down what are you doing" Fred asks staying were he is on the floor, starring at my the wand pointing at him.

"I have to make it so you wont remember, I'm so so sorry Fred please don't hate me for this its all for the best" I didn't think it would be this hard _I cant hurt Fred, but it wont really hurt him just make things better. _

"I told you I would never hate you George and I mean it, just give me back my wand" he pleads with me. I can tell he is holding back tears and his eyes are filled with worry, for me or himself I don't know but its making the guilt worse.

"I just don't want to get fatter Fred, god do you know how disgusting I feel Fred." I want him to understand why I have to do this. I get ready and blinking the tears out of my eyes I try to steady my hand to cast the spell.

"George you look like a walking stick, your not fat or disgusting but you are ill. Please just let me help you, I love you so much please don't do this. Begs Fred.

"I don't want to hurt you" I cry trying to stop my hand from shaking, this wasn't going how I wanted it to.

"I know you don't Georgie" says Fred using his old nickname for me.

_God I feel so sick_, the Breakfast Fred made me have this morning is sitting there in my stomach making me feel horrible. _Run for it and throw it up _my mind tells me interrupting and taking over all previous thoughts.

Knowing I cant to this to Fred, _I cant mess with his mind and hurt him like this_ I think. Dropping his wand I wake a dash to the toilets and lock myself in using a simple extra locking charm so Fred wont be able to come in straight away. Bending over the toilet I shove my fingers down my throat, the strain making more tears join in running down my face. I can hear Fred pounding on the door but I ignore it and purge all the food out. Wiping my fingers of on my robe I rest my head against the toilet seat and start sobbing. I'm_ so tired_ I think pondering on how much of a mess I must look. I can hear Fred manage to open the door but I feel to tired to do anything but feel shame at what he will think of me.

"George, shit" guessing that Fred has seen me as he says this I blink the tears out of my eyes and close them. I can feel his hand brushing the hair of my face "George why, I... just look at me for a second I promise I'm not mad at you" He says gently.

Opening my eyes I look at him expecting to see disgust and am shocked to see love and sadness instead.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**_

George Pov:

Shocked, I just stare at him _why doesn't he hate me, why isn't he disgusted at me._ Kneeling down next to me Fred mutters "Scourgify" a quick cleaning spell.

After a moment of silence Fred asks"How you feeling Georgie,"worriedly

"I.. I don't suppose we could forget about this could we" I ask through my tears, shooting a pleading look at him that he returns sadly.

"I'm sorry" Fred mutters sadly yet determindly "I love you to much to let you keep doing this to yourself."

"But I'm not doing anything" I try and argue.

"Yes you are Georgie and it kills me that you cant see that." says Fred sadly, while brushing some of the hair off of my face.

Wrapping his arms around me he softly hums a lullaby mum used to sing to us.

_**Send a wish upon a star  
>Do the work and you'll go far<br>Send a wish upon a star  
>Make a map and there you are <strong>_

_**Send a hope upon a wave  
>A dying wish before the grave<br>Send a hope upon a wave  
>For all this souls you failed to save <strong>_

_**And you stood tall  
>Now you will fall<br>Don't break the spell  
>Of a life spent trying to do well<br>And you stood tall  
>Now you will fall<br>Don't break the spell  
>Of a life spent trying to do well <strong>_

_**Send a question in the wind  
>It's hard to know where to begin<br>So send the question in the wind  
>And give an answer to a friend <strong>_

_**Place your past into a book  
>Put in everything you ever took<br>Place your past into a book  
>Burn the pages let them cook <strong>_

_**And you stood tall  
>Now you will fall<br>Don't break the spell  
>Of a life spent trying to do well<br>And you stood tall  
>Now you will fall<br>Don't break the spell  
>Of a life spent trying to do well<strong>_

I can feel my eyes start to get heavy and soon I'm falling into the silent blackness.

Feeling the light through my eyelids, I open my eyes I find myself back in the hospital wing. Sitting up I cant help but squeal as someone jumps on me making me fall back onto the bed. Confused I look up to find Ginny wrapped around my neck crying, the rest of my family were standing around my bed an I can tell that mum has been crying.

"What's going on" I ask confused, as Ginny unwillingly detaches herself from me and goes and stands next to Fred taking his hand.

My answer comes when Madam Pomfry steps around to me, "your brother brought you here, and I have reason and evidence to diagnose you with Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia" she says professionally and I just stare at her shocked.

"What, I...I.. don't know what your talking about" I say as mum bursts into tears and my older brother Bill comes over and sits down next to me on the bed with a weird expression on his face.

"The medical definition of Anorexia Nervosa is a psychiatric disorder characterized by an unrealistic fear of weight gain, self-starvation, and conspicuous distortion of body image. The individual is obsessed with becoming increasingly thinner and limits food intake to the point where health is compromised. The disorder may be fatal" says Madam Pomfry flicking through her notes.

"The medical definition of Bulimia is an eating disorder, common especially among young women of normal or nearly normal weight, that is characterized by episodic binge eating and followed by feelings of guilt, depression, and self-condemnation. It is often associated with measures taken to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting, the use of laxatives, dieting, or fasting." Finished Madam Pomfry gives a sad look quickly before standing back.

" But I'm not a girl and I don't have those" I say annoyed.

"George, its not restricted to girls as guys can get it to" Bill says Gently.

"Ya well I don't have any of those things you just mentioned" I tell Madam Pomfry, while looking angrily at my family. _Why wont they back me up._

"Georgie, the last thing you did before I brought you here was make yourself puke your guts up" Fred says gently but there is a hint of anger there.

"That doesn't mean I have that anorexia thing" I yell back, tears of frustration starting to fall.

"God George your practically a twig and your making yourself sick and god knows what else. Does that sound normal to you," Ron shouts at me his eyes tearing.

"Ron shouting at him isn't going to help" says Charlie soothing Ron.

"He's killing himself Charlie what else am I going to do" asks Ron.

"How about _NOT_, talk about me like I'm not here" I yell at them pissed of. Charlie just gives me a sad look.

Turning to Fred I yell "Why did you bring me here Fred, why couldn't you just leave me alone" at Fred who is silently crying, but I don't feel any guilt from yelling at him.

Bill puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder but I just push it of.

"Mr Weasley, please calm down" Madam Pomfry asks, but I just ignore her.

"Why do hate me"I ask Fred and my family before bursting into sobs that rack my whole body. Wrapping my arms around my knees I bring them up to my chest creating a personal safety bubble.

After a Few minuets, Madam Pomfry starts talking again. "I have a meal plan set up for you and I will be providing special potions to help fix any damage done." she says

_What no I don't want that, what do I do, arghhh I cant do it._"No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No," I start chanting to myself as mum and Dad talk to Madam Pomfry about when I should be having the potions.

"Shhhh" someone mutters in my ear as strong arms engulf me in a hug.

"Everything is going to be OK" someone else says but I cant tell who it is through my crying.

_It isn't going to be OK_ I think to myself before giving in to my tiredness and falling back into the soothing darkness.

_**(Slightly edited chapter, hope you enjoyed.)**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**(Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.)**_

George pov:

"Arghhhh" George thought to himself, it had been two days since he had returned home and he was fed up. Since arriving home everyone had been giving him strange looks, also the fact that as having completed part of his new potion routine he was going to be having his first meal since coming home later.

He was currently lying on his bed with his head burrowed into his pillow, saying that he was panicking would be a major understatement. The fact that whenever he stepped into a room everyone went silent and his mother burst into tears was not helping things. He wasn't trying to hurt his family, but already his mind was coming up with ways to get out of eating, hide his food or throw up afterwords without anyone catching him.

"Georgie" I hear Fred say as he comes into the room, I guess that he has the job of collecting me for dinner.

"Coming" I say solemnly, detaching my head from my pillow and sitting up and look towards Fred who was looking at me with a sadness in his eyes that I couldn't place.

Walking down stairs with Fred I felt like I was walking towards my death sentence, it didn't help that Fred was giving me weird looks as we walked down together.

"Dear, good you here, why don't you come and sit down" Mum says and I can tell she has been crying due to the fact that her eyes are all red and puffy. The rest of my family were already sitting at the table, looking up at me expectantly, when I sit down look towards the table and stare at the huge pile of food sitting in front of me. The plate was filled with sausages, potatoes, vegetables and covered in a thick gravy.

looking up I see everyone looking at me, not even focusing on their own food, It felt like I was under heavy inspection from their eyes.

I pick up my fork and look at everyone, "aren't you going to eat to" I ask nonchalantly, this seemed to work as everyone's attention focused on to their own food.

"The potato is lovely, why don't you try some George" Bill says trying to coax me into eating. Looking up from the sausage that by now had been cut into many tiny pieces, everyone was looking at me again.

"I'm not hungry" I say tonelessly, realising my mistake when mum starts crying again hysterically and Charlie bangs the table angrily with his fist.

"Don't lie George just eat the damn food" dad says angrily while trying to comfort mum. Feeling slightly scared at dads dramatic personality change I look down at the table but seeing the food again I know that I cant eat it.

"NO" I say shakily causing everyone to look at me in shock.

"What do you mean no, you need to eat" Bill says worriedly but before he can say anything else dad stands up to face me, with a look I have never seen on his face before.

Determinedly I stand up while pushing my chair back as dad comes round to my side of the table, for the first time in my life I find myself scared of him due to the look on his face.

"We are not just going to sit here and let you kill yourself, now sit down and EAT" dad says shouting the last bit.

"No" I say shakily and before I can say anything else, his hand is at the side of my face and the next thing I know I'm crashing into the wall. I can faintly hear my brothers yelling at dad .

Slowly I try moving onto my knees to try to get away, but before I know it dad has got me and my plate of food and apparated me and him into my bedroom, locking the door with his wand.

I could tell he was slightly shocked at having hit me but his determination seemed to be overruling it.

"You are going to eat even if I have to force you" he says and putting a body binding spell on me as he moves over kneeling down next to my immobilised body, holding my plate in his hands.

Fear swells up inside of me and I desperately struggle against the spell immobilising my body, I can just hear the rest of my family banging at the door and Fred threatening dad, not to touch me.

Dad just ignores them and crosses the room.

Moving over so that he is sitting on me he grabs some of the food of off the plate and shoves it roughly into my mouth causing me to starts chocking. I start crying as he tries to force in more and more food in only stopping to cover my mouth with his hand as he tries to force me to swallow. I can hear myself trying to scream and beg Fred to help me as he continues with this over and over again. The weight of his body is slowly and tortuously crushing me and know there are going to be major bruises left.

The food starts mixing with my tears on my face, as he starts shouts at me to swallow, my mind starts numbing form the panic.

Suddenly I hear the door crash and my family rushing in, I can hear them yelling and someone rushing over to me in panic shouting a spell to release the bonds immobilising me.

As soon as spell is lifted my body starts trembling from the panic and shock, as soon as I turn violently throwing up the food dad had shoved down my throat. I can feeling Fred gently rubbing circles into my back as he holds my hair of off my face.

Not even bothering to cast a cleaning spell on me once I stop violently throwing up, Fred collects me in his arms, whispering soothing words in my ear. Clutching onto him as my body shakes from my sobbing and body trembles from panic I lean into him going limp in his arms.

Soon I hear Fred humming a lullaby and before I now it I am swallowed up by the peaceful blackness.

_**Send a wish upon a star  
>Do the work and you'll go far<br>Send a wish upon a star  
>Make a map and there you are<strong>_

_**Send a hope upon a wave**_  
><em><strong>A dying wish before the grave<strong>_  
><em><strong>Send a hope upon a wave<strong>_  
><em><strong>For all this souls you failed to save<strong>_

_**And you stood tall**_  
><em><strong>Now you will fall<strong>_  
><em><strong>Don't break the spell<strong>_  
><em><strong>Of a life spent trying to do well<strong>_  
><em><strong>And you stood tall<strong>_  
><em><strong>Now you will fall<strong>_  
><em><strong>Don't break the spell<strong>_  
><em><strong>Of a life spent trying to do well<strong>_

_**Send a question in the wind  
>It's hard to know where to begin<br>So send the question in the wind  
>And give an answer to a friend<strong>_

_**Place your past into a book**_  
><em><strong>Put in everything you ever took<strong>_  
><em><strong>Place your past into a book<strong>_  
><em><strong>Burn the pages let them cook<strong>_

_**And you stood tall**_  
><em><strong>Now you will fall<strong>_  
><em><strong>Don't break the spell<strong>_  
><em><strong>Of a life spent trying to do well<strong>_  
><em><strong>And you stood tall<strong>_  
><em><strong>Now you will fall<strong>_  
><em><strong>Don't break the spell<strong>_  
><em><strong>Of a life spent trying to do well<strong>_

_**(done, the next chapter will be updated tomorrow Max and I hope you enjoy both chapters, thanks for reading and don't forget to review.) **_


	14. Chapter 14

_**(Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. This chapter contains swearing and descriptive portrayals of bulimia and other stuff. Hope you enjoy.)**_

George pov:

Waking up my eyes squint as they adjust to the light, remembering what happened I quickly sit up gagging, feeling a pair of strong arms around me that I know belong to Fred I relax slightly.

But even Freds hug cant stop the panic from rushing over me turning me dizzy, in a moment on blind panic I bring two shaking fingers to my mouth, crying as I try to shove the fingers down my throat, but Freds hug prevents me from doing so.

"Shhhh, your OK Georgie"Fred mutters into my hair, gently holding my arms so that I wont be able to force myself to throw up. I can hear some of my family standing by the door talking among themselves but ignoring theme I turn to face Fred.

"Didn't want..why..hurts bad..it hurts Freddie" I cry, scratching at my stomach hard enough to draw blood. I can feel the strange looks from those standing at the door, ignoring them I lock eyes with Fred as I try to convey message through my eyes but his eyes focus on my scratched and bruised stomach showing up from under my top. Softly clutching my small wrists in his hand Fred grabs the bottom of my top with his other, lifting it up to show the bloody scratches set under my bruised, protruding ribs.

"Oh Georgie," Fred breathes, gently tracing the visible bones, ignoring the gasps of horror by the door.

Before he can say anything else mum comes rushing through the door gasping when she sees us, "merlin what have you done to yourself," she cries, looking at me in horror.

Fred turns to glare at her, letting my hands down and pulling me into one of his protective twin hugs.

Recovering from her apparent shock she turns to look at me sadly, "I'm so sorry baby, your dad was just scared for you he never meant to hurt you" mum says starting to cry softly as Bill and Charlie voice their protest, though Fred reacted the worst.

"He hit George then immobilised him as he forcef him to eat food by violently shoving it down his throat, the whole time threatening him. Georgie begged for help but dad just went on and on. You saw him when we managed to get in there and your making excuses for him," Fred says pissed off.

Mum tries to say something else but Fred just cuts her of angrily, " for fuck sake Mum, dad was shoving food down his throat as he choked and pleaded for him to stop. Have you noticed the fact that George now looks like one big bruise, also he wakes up and the first thing he does is try to stick his fingers down his throat in panic."

"Freds right mum," I hear Bill say angrily, "we'll be lucky if George isn't traumatised from this, you heard what Madam Pomfry said."

"I know dears, but try to see it from your dads point of view," mum pleads whipping a few stray tears away, before singing in defeat. "Anyway breakfast is ready and George needs to come down stairs." mum says. There's silence before I feel panic swell up inside of me again and I start trembling against Fred.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," I start muttering repeatedly. I hear Fred swear and Bill and Charlie shout something at mum as they shoo her out of the room.

"Shhhhh, Georgie," Fred mutters, "how about instead I bring a little bit of food up here and you and me can just stay up hear without anyone else and you can try to eat a bit, please for me."

Thinking it over for a minute I nod slightly into his chest, feeling him smile broadly as he sends Charlie downstairs to bring some food up.

"Thanks Georgie," Fred says softly, "I know how hard it is for you to agree and I want you to know how much I appreciate it."

"Got it" I hear Charlie say as he comes back through the door holding a plate of food in his hand.

"Thanks," Fred says appreciatively, before sending everyone out of the room, though it was clear from the noises of protest George could hear that they were reluctant to leave.

"There gone Georgie," Fred says gently, helping me sit up.

"Thanks," I say weakly, cringing at how my voice sounds but ignore it and join Fred in sitting on the floor where he has a plate of toast in front of him.

Seeing his nod I reach for a piece but It feels as if there is a barrier between me and the toast and I quickly pull my hand back. Seeing this Fred picks a small piece up and hands it to me, before he takes his own slice.

With shaky hands I bring the toast to my mouth and break a bit of with my teeth, slowly chewing and swallowing it. I end up slowly doing the same thing with the rest of the slice, as I try to ignore the horrible sense of self disgust that fills me as I do so. I don't even realise I'm crying until I finish the slice and Fred gently grabs me in a hug, lovingly wiping the tears away as I mumble "no more" over and over again.

"Don't worry Georgie you did good," Fred says reassuringly but before he can say anything else the door is pushed open and dad stands there in the doorway looking in at us.

_**(Done, just a reminder this story does not contain twincest, sorry. Anyway I hope you liked the chapter, thanks for reading.)**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**(Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Chapter contains Aurther bashing, strong descriptions and violence. This is not written to offend or harm anyone. Sorry that it has taken a while to update but I will have the following chapter to this up asap. Happy reading) **_

George pov:

As soon as Fred saw dad standing in the doorway he moved so that he was sitting in font of me, holding me in his arms protectively.

"Leave," Fred growls, causing me to unconsciously tremble at the tone in his voice.

"Fred, I need to speak to George alone," says dad causing me to tremble more and cling tighter to Fred while my mind chants, _weak weak weak weak weak weak _as a form of torment me on how I cowered behind my twin, trembling with fear.

I hated this, I didn't want to be acting like this with Fred _since when do I cower with fright, god Fred probably cant wait to get away from me so he wont have to deal with me, I'm a burden to him, a stupid weak burden. _Thinking this as I clutch onto Fred, shame dawning on my face. Seeming to have sensed this, I feel the arms around me assuringly as Fred draws me closer to him, making it so that my head is buried in his chest as he gently strokes my hair.

"No, now leave," Fred replies angrily, resting his head on mine while brushing his hands through my hair soothingly.

"I'm sorry son but I cant do that," dad says, eyes glinting eerily as he suddenly throws a stunning spell at him effectively immobilizing him. Fred tries to move but its hopeless, realising this he helplessly glares viciously at dad while calling for help.

From my position I hear dad cast a silencing spell on the room as he closes and locks the door. I continue holding onto Fred as he shouts profanities at dad, tears of frustration run down his face at not have seeing that dad might try something like this again.

"Freddie," I whimper helplessly, while desperately trying and think of a way to mobilise him again. knowing that's its futile as I have no wand.

"George get over here," dad says calmly, as I just freeze in fright watching as Fred throws threats in dads direction.

"DONT YOU DARE TOUCH HIM YOU BASTARD," Fred shouts as he glares at dad awhile shooting me panicked and worried looks.

"George, come here right now before I show Fred the true meaning of pain," dad says in an eerily calm voice watching with glee as both me and Fred freeze. We both knew that I would do anything dad said if it meant Fred not being hurt and visa versa. Fred starts to cry helplessly he watches me slowly stand up wincing painfully as I make my way over to dad, my body trembling with fright. I had no idea what was going to happen as dad had never acted like this before but I wouldn't let him hurt Fred.

**Crucio**

I can distantly hear Fred crying and screaming at dad and begging him to stop as the curse hits me and suddenly it feels like every fibre of my being is on fire and it feels as though I am ripping apart as agonised screams tear through my throat as I thrash on the floor. After what seems like hours the pain stops and I just lay on the floor twitching, before rough hands pull me up and force me down ordering me to eat or the same thing will happen to Fred. Still dazed from pain I slowly open my eyes to see a huge plate laden with cake and other deserts.

"No" I moan my voice coming out hoarse from screaming.

"Your going to eat all of it or I will use the same curse on your brother," dad moves to look me in the eye as he lowers his voice. "you know your making me do this George, this is all your own fault," dad says ignoring Freds protests.

My eyes widen in horror as after shocks from the crutiatus curse flood through me. I know that I would never let Fred go through that, I wouldn't let him, and so I knew I was going to eat everything on that plate and that scared me so much. I would do whatever dad said and I was terrified.

"Georgie," I hear Fred say softly through his tears, I know he knows it to, because it is what he would do for me and I know that he hates it.

With shaky hands and my body still twitching in pain from the crutiatus curse I pick the closest bit of food up and start eating. Slowly I make my way through the huge pile of food, using nothing but my hands to use and I know that I am shaking in self horror and mumbling "No more" and "please" under by breath pleadingly as I eat. I can hear Fred crying softly and dad viciously sneering in my direction laughing every now and then.

When I realise that there is nothing left to eat I collapse to the ground in a pile sobbing wrapping my hands around myself.

"Throw it up," there is silence in the room after dad says this.

"WHAT," I hear Fred shout out in shock.

"Well our Georgie here is would rather starve himself then give a damn about his family so I want to see why, what's so fun about it. George now throw it all up now, I know you want to, your body is begging for it," dad says darkly as he kicks my side so I'm lying on the floor between him and Fred.

God I want to but I cant do it in front of them, I cant let them see me at my weakest moment I cant, but I cant let dad hurt Fred like that, I sob into the floor.

"OK then I will just have to curse Fred then as you obviously don't care about whether he gets hurt or not," dad says viciously through Freds outraged protests but they weak and slowly turning into sobs because he knew in his heart that I would do anything to keep him safe.

With all hope leaving me I look to Fred helplessly before placing one of my hands on the floor to support my shaking body that heaved with sobs and twitches.

Bringing two fingers to my mouth I sob one last time before shoving the fingers down my throat reluctantly yet desperately over and over again. I cant hear the taunting form my dad or the cries form Fred due to the sound of my heaving filling my ears as I shove the two fingers down again and again as tears run down my face from the force of the gagging as well as tears of shame.

Before seaming like my body cant take any more, I gag one last time and all food previously eaten comes back up again. Relief and shame flood through me and exhausted I fall sideways to the floor at Freds feet. Dad says one last thing before leaving the room, but not before muttering a quick spell to release Fred.

_**(Done , hope you enjoyed and I have changed some things that I hope you liked. The next chapter will be up soon, thanks for reading.)**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**( Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, chapter contains swearing, Aurther bashing and violence. Happy reading)**_

George pov:

I hear Fred scramble over to where I lay crying and twitching on the floor, as my body ached and trembled

"Georgie," Fred cries softly, when reaching me he hauls me up into a massive hug, sobbing and balancing his head on top of mine as I unconsciously shield away from him in shame.

"Don't do that Georgie, please don't do that you haven't done anything wrong or shameful, please don't hide from me," Fred murmurs pleadingly into my hair as he holds my trembling form. Relief that he doesn't hate me causes me to relax, cautiously at first but with encouragement from Fred I lean fully into him letting him hold me protectively as he whispers soothing things.

After around ten five minuets of this I suddenly hear Charlie open the door and the horrified gasp that follows, I vaguely hear Fred telling him what happened trough his tears. Charlie shouts for Bill trying to keep the anger out of his voice as to not scare me or Fred, the hate of course not directed towards us but towards dad.

"Freddie," I hear Charlie say gently,"why don't I take George and get him cleaned up and Bill will be up for you in a minute...," Charlie tries to continue but Fred interrupts him.

"No," Fred shouts determinedly causing Charlie to sigh sadly while filling Bill in on what was going on when he reaches the room. I hear Bill swear violently, then muttering something to Charlie before they turn their attention to us.

Another after effect of the Crutiatus curse hits me and sharp pains like needles stab me from every direction.

Whimpering I let Fred try and sooth me gently but I feel numb against his body, not even registering the tears falling down my face.

"I'm gonna kill him," I hear Bill say murderously from where he stands at the door before he joins us along with Charlie where we sit on the floor. With much protest from Fred he gently pries him of off me, hearing myself whimper when he does so from the loss of his contact, mentally cringing at my actions.

I can hear Bill murmuring soft and reassuring words to Fred as he takes him out of the room.

Seeing the look of panic on my face Charlie says soothingly, "Bill is just going to make sure Fred is OK baby bro, I promise I'm not going to hurt you," I can hear the pain in Charlies voice at the thought that I would think he would hurt me but I cant help the fear that flows through me at his touch.

Realizing the state I'm in I start trembling in shame as self hate fills me and a sudden need for Fred sends me crawling towards the door pathetically whimpering his name. _Fred will understand, he always understands. _

Seeing this Charlie picks me up gently, mutters a quick cleaning spell on me and the floor.

Softly he starts singing a lullaby he used to sing to me and Fred when were younger and I can feel myself slowly relaxing.

_**Golden slumber kiss your eyes,  
>Smiles await you when you rise.<br>Sleep,  
>pretty baby,<br>Do not cry,  
>And I'll sing you a lullaby.<strong>_

_**Care you know not,  
>Therefore sleep,<br>While I o'er you watch do keep.  
>Sleep,<br>pretty darling,  
>Do not cry,<br>And I will sing a lullaby.**_

Suddenly the door opens and I hear someone shout my name angrily, looking up I see dad standing just in front of me, wand in my face. Charlie pulls his wand out threateningly as Bill and Fred run into the room when they see dad.

"Charlie be a good boy and put George down for me," dad says eerily calm, causing me to freeze up in terror.

"Bastard," Charlie growls but seeing that dad could curse me before he could react in my defence, knowing that he cant do anything. Growling softly Charlie slowly and reluctantly lets me down from his arms, I try and cling to him tighter but my effort is futile.

"Good, now you Bill and Fred get into the bedroom," Dad demands Charlie maliciously, but when they don't and stay standing around me in a sort of protective barrier dad shouts angrily at them,"do it Now before I do something to little Georgie here that I wont regret."

"Please don't hurt Georgie again,"Fred begs dad, and I can feel his stare from where I am frozen on the floor in terror, staring at dads shoes.

"GET IN THE DAMN ROOM," dad shouts just as I feel his foot collide with my stomach throwing me back. 

Feeling dazed from the kick I can faintly hear my brothers shouts of protests but somehow dad shuts them up. Probably by threatening to kick me again I think to myself dryly.

"Good, now give me your wands and sit down on the bed,.

I faintly hear footsteps around me as my brothers reluctantly comply with dads demands, shutting the door and casting a locking spell and another silencing spell he turns to me.

**Crucio **

Screams echoes around the room, tearing through my throat as my body arches, twitching from the pain of the curse. My brain goes numb and all I know is pain, blood drips from my lips from the force of the screams ripping out of my throat. When the curse is lifted my body goes limp, twitching slightly as dad moves to stand over me, a crazed look in his eye.

_**(Done, hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading.)**_


	17. AN

AN

I just want to let you know that I have NOT given up on any of my stories but chapters will be updated and added slower that I normally do. This is because I have started college and I am doing some volountering( my mum is making me do it). I am also still re doing lost chapters so as you can imagine I am quite busy sorry. I will be updating my stories though please be patient with me please.

Thank you for understanding

From

Disgraced~Mia


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